Something to Believe In
by shortie is back
Summary: All I am is Spot Conlon- a name that describes me perfectly. Spot. That’s all I am. Spot. That’s me. Nothing more than a little spot up in the night sky mixed in with every other spot. What’s living worth if you already know your future?
1. STBI1

Disclaimer- See Spot; see Spot run; see Spot be owned by Disney; see Shortie cry. Yeah, I don't own Spot, his cigarette, OR the Brooklyn Bridge. I also don't own Mischief- Tygerlily243 owns her. Thanx mushly for letting me use her!

L/N- Moooo. Moooo. MOOOOOO. Moo with me! Or just read my story, whatever rocks your socks. (Sorry, listening to RENT…) So yeah, still on my angst kick. This is a one shot (I think!) about Spot, cause I haven't even mentioned him yet and my Spot!Muse is about to eat me for it…

So I give you, with no further delay besides to say no further delay:

**Something to Believe in**

I saw the smoke before I saw him. Silvery-white, it drifted lazily skyward out of a cigarette which was currently between the lips of Spot Conlon. He was leaning over the railing of the bridge looking out over the water with a look of intense concentration on his face. He hadn't seen me yet.

"Hey Conlon," I walked over to him and grabbed the hat off of his head, placing it over my own dark hair. He jumped and turned around ready to fight, but he relaxed when he saw it was only me.

"What're youse doin' heah?" He snapped tossing the cigarette on the ground and crushing it beneath his foot.

"I'se could ask you the same question," I said, not missing a beat. 

He took a deep breath and turned away from me, letting his gaze again rest on the smooth water. "I'se come heah to think sometimes," he said softly in a very un-Spot-like tone. 

I joined him at the railing. "Feel like sharin'?" 

"Not 'specially," he shook his head.

A few moments passed in silence. Above us, millions of stars dotted the pitch black sky and reflected in the water. There was such a big world out there; it really makes you feel small sometimes. I couldn't even count how many times I wished for this moment, to be alone with Spot Conlon- the number must have been close to the number of stars I was looking at now- but this was different than all the times I had imagined it. I was used to the loud, obnoxious leader-of-Brooklyn Spot, but this Spot was quiet, calm, and eerily serene.

I don't know how long it took me to realize he was staring at me.  "Do ya want me ta go?" I asked when I noticed he was. He didn't say anything, only nodded slightly. "Okay," I said sadly, "I'se'll jus' leave then." 

I turned to leave but stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Mischief, don't leave me," Spot said in a choked voice.

"Spot, tell me what's wrong," I demanded. This wasn't right.

"I-I'se jus' don't want ta be alone," his voice cracked slightly, and if I wasn't mistaken there were _tears in his eyes. He hastily wiped them away, probably thinking that I hadn't already seen them._

"Why are youse heah?" I asked him softly, moving to wrap my arms around his small shivering frame. He didn't make any move to push me away.

"I'se need ta- ta find somet'in'." 

"Like what?"

"Jus' somet'in'… somet'in' ta believe in."

It hit me suddenly, like a train speeding into me at 90mph. It scared me; Spot was supposed to be the fortress; the one thing that kept the rest of us sane, stable, and alive. If Spot cracked, what would happen to the rest of us?

"You'se was gonna jump…" I said softly, not wanting to believe it. He only nodded. "Oh, Spot!" I cried wrapping my arms tighter around him and fighting the urge to start crying myself.

'Don't do dat," he muttered. 

"Spot, you'se have everyt'in' ta believe in. How can ya not see dat?"

"Tell me one t'ing."

"You'se got awl of Brooklyn wrapped around youah little fingah, you'se got youah friends, who'd do anyt'in' foah you."

"But I don't. Mischief, everyt'ing's changed."

"You'se got me. I'se don't know if it means anyt'in' but I'm heah…"

He looked me directly in the eye, "Dat means a lot ta me, Mischief."

I couldn't help it anymore, the tears began to drip down my face. "So you'se gonna jump?" I was scared of his answer.

"No, not tanight," I sighed with relief. "But Mischief, don't mention dis ta anyone."

"I'se won't."

"I mean, I'se got a repitation ta hol' up."

I laughed through my tears. Spot wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Come on, let's git back tad a lodgin' house."

I was practically floating. Tonight was quickly going from the worst to the best. Spot would live for at least a few more days- and he knew that I was always there- and he had his arm wrapped around me. Who knew what would happen now between us?

"Mischief?" Spot broke the silence.

"Yeah?"

"Give me back my hat."

~~~

Thank you Tygerlily243 for letting me use Mischief! Here have a Spot!Muse! *Hands Tygerlily243 a Spot!Muse* Sorry I didn't really use much of what you gave me in the profile, but the story didn't call for it. 

And REVIEW!!!! You see that? An angsty fic with a happy ending… what will I think of next?

~Lexa~


	2. STBI2

Disclaimer- Disney's. And Mischief's. You hear me? I own NOTHINGGGGG

L/N- After much deliberation I have decided to add another chapter! *Throws confetti* Yeah, it was only supposed to be a one shot, but I decided to do it from Spot's POV, enjoy!

Ali- Duuuude! I'm a genius? LOL! Thanks! Hm... I don't think I'll be making an entire story out of it; probably leave it off at the same point as Mischief's POV- it's like you decided what happens, that way no one can get mad at me for the ending. Thanks mushly for the great review!~

Raven's Wing- I like Spot too. It would be too hard to kill him off. Thanks for the review!~

Crunchy- Aww… SHUT UP saying that this is better than yours! It barely even competes cause yours is so GOOD! (GO READ CRUNCH'S _YOU THINK YOU KNOW) But I appreciate the great review! Thanks minion!~_

Raeghann- Nope, not a one shot anymore! (But I guess you figured that out when you saw there was a chapter two… huh…) Lol, my goal was to make people cry, evil person that I am… thanks for reviewing!~

AO- Babbling is mucho fun… I do it all the time! Thanks for the review!~

Dr. Linkinshlof- is not a guy- Yeah, I had to do something to break up the tension there… thanks for the review!

**Something to Believe In**

The Water was rough tonight. Harsh and menacing, It whipped and thrashed against the foundation of the bridge as if It were trying to get me. It didn't have to try so hard, I'd be there before the night was over. The Water wasn't discriminatory- It didn't judge. It didn't care whether I was the leader of Brooklyn, Joe Pulitzer, or some bum on the streets, It'd take anyone.

I took a drag on my cigarette and let my eyes drift up to the sky dotted with millions of tiny white stars. From here, those stars were just spots, like me. Each one was identical in size color and shape, like me. No one cared anymore, like The Water. The name that I had been so proud of- _Spot Conlon- meant nothing anymore. It used to strike fear into the hearts of the strong, people cowered when they heard it; but what was it besides a __name; a name that everyone would forget within twenty years. I'm no Jack Kelly or David Jacobs- I'm not worth remembering. All I am is Spot Conlon- a name that describes me perfectly. __Spot. That's all I am. __Spot. That's me. Nothing more than a little spot up in the night sky mixed in with every other fucking __spot. What's living worth if you already know your future?_

The Water crashed even louder against the stone, trying to get my attention. It was angry now, I was making It wait and such a powerful source doesn't like to be kept waiting. _Soon, I told it, __you'll have me soon._

"Hey Conlon!"

The sudden noise shattered the tension like glass. It was loud- it had to have been to get though the barrier I had put up so I didn't have to hear it, everything they were saying about me. I had heard the voice, but couldn't tell anything about it; I couldn't tell if it was friendly, angry, or jeering; male or female, real or imagination.

My hat was snatched off my head before I had time to recognize the voice. Pure instinct caused me to reach for the knife in my hand and whip around ready to soak the bum. I couldn't let them kill me; that was The Water's job.

Her eyes grew wide when she saw the knife _Only Mischief… Relieved I put the knife away. _

"What're you'se doin' heah?" I snapped crushing my cigarette beneath my feet, even though it was only half finished.

She didn't falter. "I'se could ask you da same question."

"I'se come heah ta… think sometimes." Did I really just say that? I moved back to the edge of the bridge. The Water was calm now. That was unsettling. _Don't you want me anymore? A small wave rippled as if in response. __Don't you leave me too…_

"Feel like sharin'?" All I wanted was for her to leave me alone; leave me alone with The Water. It was the only thing I wanted right now.

"Not 'specially." I needed her to leave; I needed to be alone with The Water.

She didn't leave. Neither did I. I couldn't with her standing there; this was something I had to be alone to do. But did I really want to do it? Or did I want Mischief to stay- to make sure I didn't do it?

The Water sensed my second thoughts and began thrashing again. _So you do want me… _

I turned to look at Mischief next to me. She looked beautiful in the faint light. Her head was tilted back and she was staring up at the sky. I wondered if she was thinking what I had been before she had come. I wanted to ask, but no words would come out. 

"Do you want me ta go?" She asked when she finally turned to look at me.

No! No! Don't leave me with The Water! But The Water seemed to have control over me, my head nodded.

I saw the hurt look in her eyes as she lowered them to the ground. "Okay… I'se'll jus'…go… then." 

Please… please stay… I need you here…

Hot tears welled up behind by eyes, but I didn't notice them. All I heard was the crashing behind me. All I saw was Mischief walking away slowly. Without thinking I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Mischief, please don't leave me." That wasn't my voice.

Her eyes darkened. "Spot, tell me what's wrong," she demanded.

"I-I'se jus' don't want ta be alone," _with The Water. I swiped a sleeve across my eyes, she couldn't see me cry. _

She went to give me a hug, I wanted her to. "Why are you're heah?"

"I'se need ta- ta find somet'in'."

"Like what?"

"Somet'in' ta believe in" _besides The Water._

"You'se was gonna jump…" Her eyes took on a sudden realization. Would she leave me now? No… now she had tears is her eyes. If she started crying there was no way I wouldn't…

"Don't do dat."

"Spot, you'se have everyt'in' ta believe in. How can ya not see dat?" 

_Yeah, like what?_

"Tell me one t'ing."

"You'se got awl of Brooklyn wrapped around youah little fingah, you'se got youah friends, who'd do anyt'in' foah you."

_Who would want a spot?_

"But I don't, Mischief, everyt'in's changed."

"You'se got me, I'se don't know if it means anyt'in', but I'se heah…"

The Water tried one more time. _She doesn't really care…_

Yes she does.

"Dat mean's a lot ta me, Mischief."

That was when she started crying, but I didn't. I had broken free from The Water's grasp on me and I was happy. 

"So, you'se gonna jump?"

"Nah, not tanight."

_Not ever. I told The Water._

"But Mischief, don't mention dis ta anyone."

"I'se won't."

"I mean, I'se got a repitation ta hol' up." She laughed. "Come on, let's git back ta da Lodgin' House." I said wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

In the background, I heard The Water, loud and frightening. It was still trying to get me, but it wouldn't. I had broken free and I would never go back to where I was before. Mischief had saved my life tonight. 

_Mischief.___

I turned to look at her. She was special, not everyone would have done that for me. And she looked so pretty, bathed in the moonlight, her long, dark hair shining under my hat…

Wait a minute…

"Mischief?"

"Yeah?"

"Give me back my hat."

~~~

Okay, I know that parts of this are confusing. 

First, the repetitiveness. Spot's a little unstable in his mindset, so I didn't think he'd sound very…sane.

Second. Besides the parts that I specifically say that Spot is talking to the water, the italics mean that the water is talking to Spot. Yeah, weird, I know.

I think that's all… Thanks for reading! Now how bout you leave a nice review?

~Shortie~


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